from ferment
Closer by degrees
For people who barely know each other yet. Questions that go a little deeper each time, from a perfect day to what you'd regret leaving unsaid. Adapted from Arthur Aron's study of how closeness grows (1997).
You'll host it. Nobody is invited until you say so, and you can change anything first.
to everyone · 2 questions
Asked of the whole gathering, in the middle. The first is pinned there when the gathering begins.
- ·
If you could have anyone in the world over for dinner, who would it be?
The first question to everyone, pinned to the centre: every newcomer answers it on arrival.
tell it, by voice · answers show as they arrive
- ·
How well do you feel you know the people in this gathering?
Just for now. It's worth asking again in a few weeks.
Hardly at all ↔ Well
place yourself · answers show once you've shared
the welcome note
This gathering is for getting to know each other, a little at a time. The questions start light and go deeper as your circle settles in. Take them at your own pace, and say only what you'd like to.
a circle
Getting closer5 questions
One question at a time, each a little deeper than the last.
- 1
What would a perfect day be for you?
Not a holiday, necessarily. A day you'd be glad to have again. From Arthur Aron's 36 questions (1997).
tell it, by voice · answers show once you've shared · closes after 3 days
- 2
If you could wake up tomorrow with one new quality or ability, what would it be?
Pick one, or add your own. The circle will see what it wishes it had. After Arthur Aron's 36 questions (1997).
patience, courage, focus, ease, play, calm, confidence, curiosity, discipline, generosity, humour, listening
choose words · pick up to 1, add 1 of your own · answers stay sealed until it closes · closes after 2 days
- 3
What in your life do you feel most grateful for?
Whatever comes first is fine. From Arthur Aron's 36 questions (1997).
tell it, by voice · answers show once you've shared · closes after 3 days
- 4
What do you suspect this circle has in common that nobody has said yet?
A guess is enough. Sealed, so nobody's guess shapes the others. Recast from Arthur Aron's "three things you appear to have in common" (1997).
tell it, in writing · answers stay sealed until it closes · closes after 3 days
- 5
What would you most regret not having told someone, and why haven't you told them yet?
You don't have to say who. This is the deepest question here. Leave it for when your circle is ready. From Arthur Aron's 36 questions (1997).
tell it, in writing · answers stay sealed until it closes
Each circle opens with its first question once four people are in. The rest wait as suggestions, and the circle takes them up when it's ready, in any order, or brings its own.
Where it comes from
Written by ferment from the sources named in its questions.
Where it has gone
No gatherings have started from it yet.